If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
