My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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