her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
