I think I died a long time ago.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
