It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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