hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
