omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
