she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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