I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
