his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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