No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
