Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
