If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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