using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
