fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
