Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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