im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
