could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
