It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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