Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
If I had your ass I would rule the world
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
