while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
