Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Panties = found
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
