to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
