Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
