i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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