So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Randomize
