We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
