Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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