There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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