just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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