Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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