yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I pour the whiskey from now on
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
