doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My friends, they love my intelligence
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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