whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
