he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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