I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
