vagina is talking i cant
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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