this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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