If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
