none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
