no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
