Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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