I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Randomize
