I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
