I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
