i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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