Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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