So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
