dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
