we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
