the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
