The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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