dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
