You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
