You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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