my sisters under your porch take her home
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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