If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
